Oneil Cruz Nuclear Winter Prep
As of the summer solstice, Pittsburgh has experienced unreal levels of hope that haven’t been recorded in nearly a decade. Not since Russell Martin left the ballpark off of Johnny Cueto in the 2013 Wild Card game has Buctober been even a figment of imagination. It seems the young stars have finally aligned with the farm system being harvested all at once as opposed to selective cropping and growing season droughts. Perhaps the most awe-inspiring piece of the Pirates puzzle is the 7 foot 4 alien with a pitcher’s arm and a first baseman’s bat speed, MLB.com’s second ranked prospect Oneil Cruz. The young shortstop has already set this year’s highest clip for a Pirate’s exit velocity, the three fastest sprint speeds for a Pirate, and the fastest thrown ball by an MLB infielder. That’s two games.
In his debut, he swung early and waved on a changeup on the inside third of the plate. Bob Walk began to lament some realities that I think everyone needs to consider.
Cruz is hot. There’s no denying it. Right now, pitching to him is like putting a square peg in a round hole. It can’t be done, as no one has had to pitch around a beast like this. Even Aaron Judge doesn’t compare, as Cruz can turn a single into a triple with inhuman exit velocity and in-game speed. While the entropy of the universe continually increases, the entropy of baseball must settle. Things regress to the mean. The best example of this the fallacy of the Home Run Derby ruining a player’s swing for the season. In reality, normal all-star game participants regress by the same amount (via some study I saw once). They got hot to start, players watched the tape, lineups were focused on them, pitchers hit spots, the heat cooled.
Someone will figure out where to pitch to Cruz. If it’s an NL Central pitcher I might put my feet in boiling water because I hate those teams a lot. Equally. There is not one Cardinal, Brewer, Red, or Cub I want to see succeed with the exception of hometown boy Ian Happ. But I digress. Someone will do it. He’ll also make an error. He’ll make another. He’ll get caught between second and third and get tagged out without a force. People will call for a reassignment to AAA, will say to trade him while value is high, point to another Ben Cherington/Bob Nutting blunder (not the worst point). I beg you to keep a level head.
Fatten up on the good times. Watch the clip of him throwing a fielded ball into hyperspace on loop and make the picture of him rounding second your lock screen. For every good tweet you make about him, put another in the drafts. We’re looking at a cold, dark winter after this beacon of light on the first official day of summer. Think the Krakatoa eruption in the late 1800s that shut global economies. Think solar flare EMP and a Mad Max style dystopia. Keep your head above water. Mets fans would have Oneil Cruz drawn and quartered on the runway of Laguardia during this swoon. Don’t stoop to their level.
The tools are there. They’ll always be there. Once he figures out how to respond to the new challenges of the bigs, he will dead-cat bounce to a normal level, and normal with those statistics and raw material is a perennial all-star. Keep your loved ones close, tell people you love them, hold onto the good times, and be ready to tell every other fan you told them so. Going dark, see you all on the other side.
